|We get served exactly and sometimes super-sized versions of what we dish!|
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
This is my personal opinion and reflects values that I hold dear and deep in my heart! If you find them helpful, then incorporate it into your online etiquette folder and use them at all times! The realm of personal choice has absolutely no bearing whatsoever when it comes to family! They are people who you find yourself in the same boat, cruising along through this amazing journey called life! Your best bet? Find a way to have fun with them as you cruise along! Friends on the other hand, are where personal choice reigns supreme! You have ample latitude to choose whom you deem worthy to be part of your circle. You can and have absolute right to exercise that power of choice how you deem fit and narrow or expand your personal criteria according to who you are! As much as people try to deny it, friends are really a reflection of who we truly are for good or for bad!
In the realm of social networking, the same holds true, each person must have a definition of who they call friend and no one should have a say in that definition but them! I find that I have tended to gravitate towards people who share the same interests like me. I love health and fitness, positive living, free spirits, inspiration, beauty, justice, and essentially anything or person that challenges me to be better on a daily basis! As in real life, in the world of social media like fb we run the risk of being in serious trouble if we reduce our standards on who we call friend! Social media should not make us reduce that standard unless we never quite had the standard to begin with! If in four years, (for me) you have never had a “friend” engage you or you engage them, you share nothing in common,. . .they are not your friend! “Engage” for me meaning wishing you a happy birthday, liking each other’s posts that spoke to them, liking each other’s pictures, poking (for some people), saying an occasional hello, or simply poking a friendly jab at you, etc.
Be wary, indeed, be very wary of people who leave no traces of themselves! We must be as territorial and protective of our online spaces/profiles with people who come to scroll through our profiles almost on a daily basis and leave no marks of their visits as we would be in real life about a visitor who constantly drops by our house and leaves no trace of their visit! If there is something about someone that you really like but hate due to your own insecurities (that you need to address) that make you constantly visit their profiles, and then leave feeling worse off, then you must really need that person’s friendship and so must tell them like we usually do when we were 6 or 7 years old. Those good old days, when we see people that we like, our child-like innocence makes it easy for us to say something along these lines, “I like you, can you be my friend”? :-))) LOL. . But on a really serious note, often times, these sneaky visitors never mean well! If they mean well, they would say hello or like a post or picture, etc.
In defense of the world of social networking, I have met so many wholesome and wonderful people through Facebook who I have gone on to have relationships with in real life! There are people on my fb friend list that I have never had a conversation with yet, I find them inspiring and enjoy reading their posts or simply following their lives which I find inspiring, chances are that I must have requested their friendship! Occasionally, I click the like button on a particular post by them that speaks directly to me! Those people reserve the right to unfriend me if they find me unworthy of their “friendship standards”. There are others that I really find that I enjoy nothing about them, we have no interactions whatsoever and the only things that we share in common are “mutual friends”. In reality, I also see the huge possibility that they also enjoy nothing about me, leading to a “friendship” that never quite translates to anything! Bottom-line, they are not my friends and the common sense thing to do is unfriend them!
I read with great sadness the story of this incredibly beautiful and seemingly industrious young girl, Cynthia, who was murdered in cold blood in Lagos, Nigeria, by some psychopaths she met on Facebook! I watched the video of the two men confess and was just so angry that human beings have degenerated to the levels of beasts in the wild who hunt for preys! She did nothing wrong! She trusted someone whom she may have spoken with online over a period of time! They betrayed her trust and murdered her! There are millions of people on a daily basis all over the world that have found true love and romance and sometimes even made serious business and professional contacts on social media sites! She unfortunately fell within the statistics of people that were not so fortunate! I pray her family and loved ones find solace in God’s peace and love through this incredibly difficult time!
In conclusion, start today to redefine who you call friends on social media sites! If you don’t have a true, candid or happy reaction towards a particular social media “friend” or their profile did not meet the standards of what you hold dear and true in your heart, use your DELETE button! It is the most powerful tool for online-self-protection on your keyboard! It probably makes sense to use the same standard that you use in real life! I am game! Are you?
Ogor Winnie Okoye
Friday, May 25, 2012
Imagine, believing that your life can become everything you want it to become! Imagine, actually believing that those dreams, and goals are possible? Our choice of core beliefs hugely determine the possibilities and the dimensions our lives will take! Life can be lived in full high definition only when we begin to believe that it is indeed our birthright to thrive and become as happy, peaceful and successful as possible! The problem is that very few are willing to think thoughts like these and to believe in that possibility. Mediocrity becomes their reality, after all, that is all they are choosing to believe for their lives.
We can barely exceed what we choose to believe possible for our lives. Remember the saying that "anything is possible for those who can believe". I am choosing to live mine in high definition! How are you choosing for your life?
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Often times we do not even recognize that we are sabotaging ourselves unconsciously due to the every day choices that we make. Something as innocent as feeling hurt, disappointed, betrayed, belittled, crushed, etc. It becomes even more difficult when it is coming from a loved one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with expressing any of these emotions. Indeed, medical research shows that it is actually better to let yourself feel those plethora of emotions instead of bottling it all inside of you and then having one major our-burst due to the pent-up emotions that you have been suppressing. We see people snap on a day to day basis!
It becomes wrong, counter-productive, and outright, self-sabotaging when we unduly fixate on those feelings and unconscionably let them dictate the course of our lives. There are people that experience a physical revulsion at the mere mention of another person's name. This may be due to the fact that they were hurt, betrayed, or disappointed by those people. When we nurture and allow those feeling to thrive within our subconscious, we are in effect permanently mortgaging our body and soul to someone who had deeply hurt us in the past and essentially telling them that we are open to being re-injured and permanently scarred by them. We are essentially dancing not to our own music but the music of someone who had hurt us!
Do you really want to dance to their music? Do you really want to effectively block off the gates to your own present and future blessing due to those toxic, negative emotion that had taken over your life? As hard as it may be, you must forgive the perpetrator, any and every single thing they had done to you! Total forgiveness means you see or remember them without ever feeling that same negative emotion. By so doing, you are making an unequivocal statement to the universe that you do in fact operate on a more positive and healthier frequency than these other people who had hurt you and in the process, throw open the flood gate of blessings. Those blessings perceive you are housing a powerful and positive force and will easily find your life, a really attractive vault to inhabit! Most importantly, you are choosing to dance to your own music; playing your own tune, just the way it should be, after all, it is your life!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Ever wondered how one can achieve inner peace?
Personally, I have realized that looking inwards and deeply into ourselves and concentrating on fixing our own flaws and not necessarily the flaws of others is a great route to achieving inner peace. Most people unduly fixate in righting what they perceive as the faults of others and lose out on fixing their own flaws. Each time we see ourselves condemning, criticizing, and coercing others to behave more like we would expect them to; we would almost never attain that state of peace of mind because we are constantly looking outwards of ourselves instead of inwards. Looking inwards makes us shine our heart-lights brighter than ever! Imagine how our world will be illuminated when everyone is shining their heart-lights as bright as they possibly can?
When we unduly compare ourselves to others and forget that the competition is not with any other person but with our selves, then we are getting closer to that path of our own peace of mind. The challenge for each and every one of us is to evolve into our best selves possible and not to become more like another person. We have been endowed with amazing will power (untapped in most people) to evolve and become better than we were last month, year, or even yesterday. The competition is with your past self versus your present self. How have you been doing? If you can honestly answer that version of today is far better than your version of yesterday, then you are a step closer to attaining inner peace. That realization and vindication makes you happy and content that you are definitely on the right path.
Finally, honesty, love, and truth may seem boring and inconvenient at times, but it is still the higher route despite what people would say or think of you. The more your actions are infused with those qualities, the closer you are to attaining inner peace given that you are not worrying about people whom you’ve harmed or hurt coming to get you. . .:-)
Kindly share more of your own tips to attaining inner peace.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Instead of focusing on other people, have you ever wondered whether or not you, yes YOU, possess the qualities and attributes of a true friend. If you consider yourself a true friend to another, you owe to that other person, support, encouragement, love, and affirmation not only when they are present, but more so when they are absent. You must openly commend, defend and appreciate your friends when they are present with you. That duty becomes magnified during their absences when others are present. Do you stand up for your friends? If you cannot stand up for your friend when they are not present but chose instead to throw them under the bus and castigate them, you are not being true to that promise of friendship.
Every aspersion cast on a friend when they are not around is a reflection of your deepest fears, insecurities, and inadequacies and projects poorly on your character. Finally, as always, the eternal truth is that you will eventually get what you gave. It might not happen right away, but it would eventually happen.
Are you a true friend?
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
We are counting down to Valentine's day of 2012!!! Yeaaah!!! There are so many reasons why most relationships suffer or simply refuse to take flight and stagnate. I wanted to share a reason that became apparent to me in the last couple of years. Often times, our relationships suffer because we lack a true knowledge of who we are. Knowing ourselves is so much more than being able to know our names and what we like or dislike, it demands that we understand our core strengths and weaknesses and that we truly recognize and realize that in spite of the relationships that we foster in our lives, we are still fundamentally and primarily responsible for ourselves.
A recognition of that makes us have less expectations from others, thereby ultimately increasing our tenacity and resilience modes in the event of a hurt, disappointment or betrayal from others. How well do you know yourself? That would help you tremendously in fostering much more healthy relationships.